Sometimes, I wonder where God is. In the midst of hurt, suffering, loneliness, frustrations with life and ministry. I wonder if He sees, if He cares.
I was reading from Mark 4 today, verses 26-41. Toward the end of the chapter, Jesus and the gang hop into boats to cross the lake. As they’re crossing, a storm shows up, wind howling, waves crashing over the bow. And…where is Jesus? Sleeping. The disciples, seeing this, wake him up and ask, “Don’t you care if we drown?” Jesus gets up, rebukes the wind and tells the waves to be still. The wind dies down, and a calm takes place.
And then….Jesus turns, looks at his disciples, and asks two questions that will shake them.
“Why are you so afraid?”
“Do you still have no faith?”
These guys are scared out of their minds. They had heard the stories from the ancient texts, Moses splitting the Red Sea, Joshua commanding the sun to stand still. But, both of those were at the command of God.
This Guy, this Jesus, stands up, doesn’t pray, doesn’t ask God what He should do, He Himself stands up and rebukes the wind and tells the sea to be still. And the disciples don’t know what to do. So they simply ask one another the most important question one could ever ask, the only question that matters.
“Who is this?”
Going back to the beginning…when I wonder where He is…when I ask if He’s around, when I ask if He cares…at the heart I’m asking “Who are you?”. Because I’ve seen his power, his affect on others, and on myself. And there are days I don’t buy it. Days I believe He CAN’T be who He claimed to be.