“Yeah, I’ve seen you in the hall. You seem happy, as you pass me by. You don’t know my name, bu I know yours. I guess, you think I’m probably shy. The truth is…we’re a lot alike. I like Fall Out Boy, too. I was at the game last Friday night. My parents had to give me a ride, and, I won’t tell, but I know we both have places we try to hide.

I haven’t alway been like this, like when I was 8? I threw a birthday party and no one came! I had the Barbie cake, the party favors, the typical party games…well, I never sent out the invitations, so, I guess I’m to blame. I knew you wouldn’t come. Why risk the shame?

The first day of school…I sat at the teachers table. How pathetic is that? There were seats at your table, but…none for me. What would we talk about, anyway?

Topics of conversation: hmmm, let’s see.

My mom says I should try and meet people. My dad says to look you in the eye, stand up straight, say my name and, “Hi.” But, I seriously doubt they’d drink their own advice…cause’ I haven’t had dinner with them since I was like, 5.

I’ll be tough, I’ll be strong. I am going to be ok. I mean, do I really need you people, anyway? All I need is me, that’s enough to get me by. So I shut you out, and reject your subtle lie. Inside my shell? It’s the perfect place for me to get by.

I really, I really shouldn’t tell you this, but you can trust my tone. It’s not the I hate hearing voices. I just wish they’d listen. Silence drips from my lips. Each breath move heavy with…alone.

Every day a thousand faces surround me, each one expressionless, like stone.

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’ll just leave you alone.

Maybe, I should take the first step. Maybe you should take one, too. I just want someone who will say they care, someone who will love me. That’s my deepest search. I’m done with alone.

I just hope, I don’t feel this way at church.”






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Filed under ciy, ones, summer conference

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