Outsourcing, Part 3

The catalyst for Part 1.

Part 2 was yesterday.

As I’ve reflected on the question, “Why Parents Outsource Their Teen’s Spiritual Formation” over the past few days, I believe that the answer is ultimately about a lack of partnership between parents and the church (or youth ministry/youth minister).  I believe that BOTH side have forgotten their roles in this partnership.  The definition of “partner” looks like this:

partner |ˈpärtnər|
noun
1 a person who takes part in an undertaking with another or others, esp. in a business or company with shared risks and profits.

This is all about relationship, community and the “a” word…accountability.

Let’s talk about parents (and remember that I am one, so this list is about me).

• Parents fail in this partnership when they simply drop their kids off for the night.
• Parents fail in this partnership when they don’t respond to emails asking for feedback.
• Parents fail in this partnership when they invest nothing in the ministry, when they simply consume.
• Parents fail in this partnership when they don’t take advantage of opportunities to talk about faith at home.

Now, let’s talk about youth ministers (remember, I am one, so this list is about me), churches and youth ministry.

• Youth ministers fail in this partnership when we don’t take the time to say “hello” to the parents.
• Youth ministers fail in this partnership when we do not deliver information (trip details, etc) as promised or in a timely manner.
• Youth ministers fail in this partnership when we do not take into account family schedules, work schedules, etc.
• Youth ministers fail in this partnership when we think that we care about kids more than their parents do.
• Youth ministries fail in this partnership when we think that we can replace the parent.
• Churches fail in this partnership when we do not communicate that the number one role of a parent is that of passing on the faith to their children.
• Churches fail in this partnership when we do not equip or support families in this effort.  We can (and do) point the finger at parents and families all that we want, but if we are not equipping them for this effort, they cannot.

Partnership comes when we realize that we are all in this together.  Partnership happens when we come along side one another, not in judgment, or competition, but in a relationship that is encouraging and honest in what we need from the other partner.  Partnership comes when we have an expectancy of one another that we are seeking the same goal.

For those of you that partner with parents, what does that look like?

Outsourcing, Part 2

Yesterday, I posted a response to Tim Schmoyer’s blog post about “Why Parents Outsource Their Teen’s Spiritual Formation”. I did some brief research on why companies outsource, and here is one list:

* Reduce and control operating costs
* Improve company focus
* Gain access to world class capabilities
* Free internal resources for other purposes
* A function is time consuming to manage or is out of control
* Insufficient resources are available internally
* Share risks with a partner company

Pretty straightforward. As many of these are similar, I’ll combine them.

When parents outsource spiritual formation of teens:

* Reduce and Control Operating Costs/A function is time consuming to manage or is out of control:  It costs them less, in terms of investment.  Not in money, but in TIME..which, at this point, is the most important thing.  Spiritual formation is all about time, and many families simply neither have, nor make, the time.
* Improve company focus/Free internal resources for other purposes:  Families are free to spend their time on other things, perhaps those things are valid (employment, school, etc), perhaps they are not.
* Gain access to world class capabilities/Insufficient resources are available internally:  Some churches and ministries are absolute machines.  The amount of material available is incredible.  As a parent, I (personally, no sarcasm intended) do not have the TIME (see #1) to pour through it all and determine what I might use to disciple my families.
* Share risks with a partner company:  The word “partner” here is incredible.  It implies a relationship…that the two parties are working together.

Now, each of the above can be completely legitimate things.  Here’s where my cynicism comes out…

* Reduce and Control Operating Costs/A function is time consuming to manage or is out of control: Question: Is there anything more important than passing on the faith to our children?
* Improve company focus/Free internal resources for other purposes:  Question: Is there anything more important that passing on the faith to our children?  I mean, I want my children to to grow up and be productive members of society.  But, what good is it to gain the world and forfeit their souls?
* Gain access to world class capabilities/Insufficient resources are available internally:  The Bible is insufficient.  In fact, in our middle school and high school Sunday school class, it’s all we use.  We just read it and talk about it.
* Share risks with a partner company:  I cannot tell you how many times I’ve heard a parent complain about “if my church’s youth ministry only did “x”…”  Let’s be honest.  Outsourcing gives us someone to blame.

To recap:

The outsourcing takes place because we allow them to.

There are benefits, both legitimate and illegitimate, to outsourcing.

Tomorrow, let’s talk “partnership.”

Join the conversation!

 

On outsourcing, part 1

My friend Tim Schmoyer just blogged about “Why Parents Outsource Their Teen’s Spiritual Formation.“

Here’s what I think:

• I’m convinced that for many parents, those in the church anyway, they want to teach their children.
• These same parents, don’t know how to teach their children.
• The reason that they don’t know how is because the church has not taken seriously it’s responsibility to equip them.
• Because the church has neglected this role, parents need someone to teach spiritual formation for them.
• So, the church, in an effort to meet this need, does an end-run around the parent and hires an expert.
• This expert, then, enables both the parent, and the church, to perpetuate the problem.

In short…parents outsource their teen’s spiritual formation because we not only allow them to, but because we provide the system the justifies it.

Thoughts?